


Dacryphilia

by Batblood



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: And their bond is kind of unhealthy, Angst, Choking, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Josh is 18, M/M, Smut, This is kind of dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 02:18:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17592776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batblood/pseuds/Batblood
Summary: His shirt wrinkled up as a pair of shoulders shrugged against him, hot oxygen leaving Josh’s lips, visiting a spot on Tyler’s collarbone, causing a trace of goosebumps to form on his arms, wrapped around the boy in an attempt to trick his brain into relaxation and mental pleasure. „I’ve had a pack of instant ramen this morning. I know people my age usually take care of themselves, I’m sorry.“„Are you apologizing to me or yourself?“





	Dacryphilia

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Little tw for emetophobia since I kind of suffer from it too and am always thankful when people warn me so I can prepare myself haha. :))  
> Fucked up angsty fluff for my fucked up princess.

There’s penetrant, loud knocking on his door, four knocks, to be exact, as heavy rain joined in on the hammering. Eyes followed raindrops collected by window glass, shining with sparkles on the cold surface, freezing his insides as much as the knocking. The light layer of dust framed blurred buildings while his hands leave the porcelain, flushed from the chilly temperature, coffee scent prominent in his nostrils as he dragged himself over the parquet in a rush, on the macabre verge of collapsing on the way to his bathroom, panic spreading disturbingly just like the acid in his stomach. Desperately frantic tries at calming his breathing failed, his legs were shaking, ribcage shuddering and he felt a sob leaving his mouth, followed by gags, gags, gags and a toilet full of vomit.  
“Fuck,” he whispered, at a loss of words and air and health. Lightheaded, especially with the sound of his phone vibrating in the living room, two doors away from the acid bubbling up again, eyes wet like the night before and uncomfortably swollen from huge amounts of salty tears. He silently begged his brain to black out, right there, on the cold tiles, yet found his legs guiding him to his front door, viewing a pair of judging eyes mustering him up and down.

“Shit, man, did you sleep at all last night?”  
Josh’s bloodshot eyes wandering to the floor replied for him, his pupils were blown and eyebags purple toned. He wondered if his insides looked like giving up as well, “How much do you need?”  
He hesitated before meeting Tyler’s eyes again, his soul held purity, he could tell, loyalty flashing at him combined with worry, almost pity. Josh wanted to avoid his glare, the intimacy that came with eye contact, let it affect him in his current headspace. “Just— just a gram or two.”  
“You’re fucking shaking right now.” Tyler mumbled, wanted it to sound harsh, craved it to leave Josh hissing like he put his cigarette out on his tongue, instead, got a sickly sweet impression of Josh’s embarrassment, bitten lips and a silent apology for letting Tyler view such humanly mess, teeth-rotting and addicting like caramel. Tyler’s glare was filled with an uncontrollable mixture of emotions as he permitted himself to step inside, adrenaline keeping the rage consistent yet mild. “What the fuck is going on? You smell disgusting.”  
Josh’s sigh laid heavy in the air. “Puke, dude.” he mumbled, followed by the other’s shadow disappearing into the direction of his kitchen, leaving him softly, quietly gasping from the exhaustion of vomiting.  
„Do you usually pity your clients like that?“ he yelled, as loud as he managed to, listening to his raspy echoing in the hallway. Tyler’s coat flooded the floor with raindrops, creating the tiniest sea as he came back.  
„Come on,“ Tyler mumbled, bringing a glass of water to Josh’s lips endearingly, carefully, in a way, Josh didn’t notice his thirst before he swallowed it all and rested his forehead into the crook of Tyler’s neck.

„I can’t feel the purpose anymore. Don’t remember the last time I paid you either. How high are my debts?“  
Tyler’s lower lip looked abused as well, reddened and numb from the harsh biting, he dared to let his thumb draw circles on Josh’s shoulder. „I’m not taking any money from you. Have you paid rent already?“  
„Mom refuses to continue financially supporting me due to my grades dropping.”  
Josh’s pathetic pleading inside his head got louder with every attempt at a word, loud enough to compete with his heartbeat and, potentially, the mumbled apology coming from Tyler, his voice overflowed frustration, and simple warmth.  
„Did you have a proper meal today?“ he whispered, breathed out into the familiar hopeless atmosphere, „You look even worse than usually.“  
His shirt wrinkled up as a pair of shoulders shrugged against him, hot oxygen leaving Josh’s lips, visiting a spot on Tyler’s collarbone, causing a trace of goosebumps to form on his arms, wrapped around the boy in an attempt to trick his brain into relaxation and mental pleasure. „I’ve had a pack of instant ramen this morning. I know people my age usually take care of themselves, I’m sorry.“  
„Are you apologizing to me or yourself?“  
Josh’s slightly shocking glare laid on his face, for speaking up about what went through both of their heads, ceiling lamp Illuminating the right side of Tyler’s face while leaving the other half full of shadows, the golden, tan tone in his skin complimenting highlighted areas that met the contour of his bone structure and yet,a lack of harsh edges, he thought. “I don’t.. deserve your sympathy.”  
Tyler found himself almost feeling the discomfort of Josh’s insecurities in his own bones whenever they decided to torture him, raw, an uncut movie.  
„Why don’t you allow yourself to let go of your self-hate? Replace it with these touches.“  
He could tell Josh was scanning his own brain, desperately, searching for the dust of an answer by the way his pupils slightly drifted off to the ceiling, as a cold fingertip wiped the newfound tears away, frosting his under eye area like an arctic breeze, mid-thought, careful not to add to the other’s already existing pain. „Don’t,“ he soothed, bitterly, as if snowflakes intruded to his vocal cords. „Your eyes probably burn already.“  
Intoxicating, thrilling, was how he would’ve described Tyler’s tone if he dared to, leaving Josh’s head spinning with raging desire, almost pathetically eager, to continue letting himself fall for sweet nothings. “I’m sorry.” Josh mumbled out, quiet enough to hide from Tyler’s ears.  
His fingers stuttered, exposed the nervousness unwillingly as they’re laying on Tyler’s coat, tugging like an impatient kid as an encouragement to strip it off of himself. To his surprise, he did, and the second Tyler’s hands were on him again caused Josh to lose balance, to stumble, like the fool that he knew he was, and ended up on his knees. The humiliation of having Tyler bend down to reach him pierced his heart, made it ache and sob at the same time, and spilled a blotchy blush over his cheeks.  
“You wanna die so badly?”  
The constellation of spoken, vulgar words shocked him more strikingly than Tyler’s warmth and calmness radiating eyes, almost convincing him, manipulating him into begging for his own death by the hands of his dealer, if he wanted him to. Feeling easy, seduced as the adrenaline spurred Josh on. If it wasn’t for the intimacy craving headspace he was in, he would’ve thrown his fists at Tyler for blocking his windpipes in his next movement, hands wrapped tightly around his throat, underlining the purple hue in Josh’s skin. Admittedly, he caught the explosive feeling edging him, keeping him grounded and so, disturbingly ready with Tyler’s fingers pressing harder, new tears blurring his vision. „Please, this, you’re— destroying me,“ he managed to slur out, voice cracking immediately at the bloodshot, lust filled eyes in front of his face, so close, as his windpipe thirsted for fresh oxygen.  
Climbing a mountain, then slipping and flying off, Josh wouldn’t hesitate to compare such tragedy to the tightness in his lungs, must’ve looked like the most experience-worthy car crash judging off the force that held Tyler’s hands as they tortured Josh’s throat until he was on the brink of losing him.  
„Are you still with me?“  
Josh’s flushed chest tingled with his racing heart, stomach fluttering, dizziness present in his veins. He fought for control over his shaking limbs just to fail with a strong force, anxious spirit inside of him teasing, gifting him a hint of hell, as Tyler hastically grabbed cotton to bring him back up, tight grip showing consistent support for the shivering bones. “Come on,“ he encouraged. „Let go for me.“  
Josh craved to obey, please and delete the habit to overthink, especially with the familiar, rough constraint on his belt, edging him to, and the flaming expectation on Tyler’s face. Feeling pressured, growing harder, Josh could practically hear the unworthy part of him fading into Tyler’s skin on his own, a zip tie, two buttons and the other’s heavy breathing. Josh’s noises flooded the atmosphere and Tyler’s heart, mercilessly, as he felt bittersweet intensity of the tightness in his grip increase rapidly on his cock, and perhaps accidentally, making him buck up into Tyler’s hand. His passion left Josh craving to visit the dark clouds above him, just to feel the seemingly endless fall before breaking down with Tyler’s absence, his dick leaking embarrassingly, moans coming through gritted teeth as he let Tyler’s touches consume him. About to come after an obscenely short amount of time for someone like Tyler, so messily, yet too far gone to actually be ashamed of the way he was put on display, for him, by him, hypnotic rather than innocently keeping Josh grounded, caught himself stumbling again, yet not enough to fall to his knees once more, as he viewed Tyler doing it, instead and hissed sharply perhaps purely out of overstimulation or the warmth of Tyler’s mouth around his cock. For the brink of a second, Josh’s brain went to shut off while his body numbed completely, consistently sending sparks of pleasure through his veins as he obediently let go, just as told, inside Tyler’s mouth. A feeling of guilt began to settle in his head while watching himself recover from pure bliss, poisonous electricity, and zip up his pants.

He felt the waves of, desperately, needing to breathe out even the quietest of all apologies, hesitating for a single second before Tyler laid his hand on the doorknob, metal crushing the warmth of his skin, viewing a pair of judging eyes mustering him up and down, “Just a gram or two?”  
The tired undertone in Tyler’s voice caught him like a hunt prey, rescued, somewhere in the deepest pits of his colorful imagination, fearless, confident. “Yeah.”


End file.
